I’ve come to the conclusion that online dating services are actually elaborate schemes for highly-paid escorts. It’s a breeding ground for those looking to be better than what they are and convince others of the same.
A friend suggested I try one of these services (like I don’t have enough trust issues as it is), to see what I can find. Well, boredom reared its ugly head recently, and aided by my favorite amber fermented liquid, I decided to check out the men on one of these sites and “see who’s on line.” An experiment in the absurd is what I expected, but still I opened my mind – just in case I happened on my soul mate because I am .00009 percent sure that my soul mate is residing somewhere in my general location and I will find him by reading the endless drivel people hork up on their profiles.
My new late-night assignment for myself was to find a dude online to hook up with; however, this deal turned out to be more like selecting my very own blind date. Yippee.
So first I filled out the prerequisite bullcrap that certified that I was a female and off I went. I typed in the town I live in and picked an area to search men in (hahaha) that was roughly 15 miles from my location. Oh, the men I found.
I knew several on the site, which made me giggle and realize I never really want people to know I use a dating service let alone one online, and worse yet, I found one that I had worked with (when I had a different life). And here comes the rub – he so lied all over his info background thingy. I know for a fact he didn’t go to the college he claims to have went. And he is so no where as interesting as he makes himself out to be.
Worse, each male on the site had described, using the site’s preselected what-u-look-like keys, his perfect woman and, ha!, they all looked the same. Borring. Everyone wanted a red-haired, slender/toned, nonsmoking, drinking woman between ages of 21-30, who loved to cooked, erotica, and thunderstorms. Um, sorry, Angie Everhart is married.
I tried to pick the selectors to create the perfect male – but no luck so I want this guy: muscled cut, hard 6 pack abs, about 6’3, perfect white teeth, big smile, tanned, broad shoulders, sinuous legs, artistic and likes some sort of creative endeavor like writing or music.
But then when I submitted that to the site, I had to laugh because I determined, after sludging through the various couch potatoes who claim to work out every other day, but who have “love handles” I have no clue what or who my type is and I’ll only know when I find him.
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