I was separating the last of the joint socks today, and noticed something very odd and disconcerting. I have 12 socks without a match. How does that happen?
To clarify the situation, I dug around under the bed where the clean clothes are tossed before I fold them, then checked around the dryer, under my bed – all to no avail. These poor socks had been widowed by the evil and uncaring sock monster.
I have never seen the sock monster but, after losing way too many socks for random reasons – am a firm believer that the sock monster does exist and it lives in my house. When I lived at home or college I never had this problem. I could always, always account for all my socks. They would eventually turn up – in another load of laundry or hidden in some sleeve of a shirt. Not this time.
The only answer is the elusive and destructive sock monster. This heinous creature breaks up homes and happy socks for no reason other to cause malicious mischief. I have little doubt that the sock monster has done this before to other happy sock mates. It sneaks in during the transfer from the foot to the laundry hamper to the washer to the dryer and then to the actual mating process. The monster finds cracks and weaknesses in the bonding between the socks and creates wedges and openings for which it will insert itself into the pairing.
Then, without thought to the socks, it winds its slippery, cold and calculating fingers into one of the pair and tugs and pulls and manipulates till the socks are separated. From there, neither sock knows where the other is, and the king’s men have no joy in putting them back together. The socks can just blindly hope to find another sock, similar enough in pairing, to join them. But for the sock the monster tucked away into the hidden spaces in life it’s a dark life – no one can ever find the lost sock again. And, for the left behind mate, if no pair is made – it’s the garbage bin.
Damn sock monster.
To clarify the situation, I dug around under the bed where the clean clothes are tossed before I fold them, then checked around the dryer, under my bed – all to no avail. These poor socks had been widowed by the evil and uncaring sock monster.
I have never seen the sock monster but, after losing way too many socks for random reasons – am a firm believer that the sock monster does exist and it lives in my house. When I lived at home or college I never had this problem. I could always, always account for all my socks. They would eventually turn up – in another load of laundry or hidden in some sleeve of a shirt. Not this time.
The only answer is the elusive and destructive sock monster. This heinous creature breaks up homes and happy socks for no reason other to cause malicious mischief. I have little doubt that the sock monster has done this before to other happy sock mates. It sneaks in during the transfer from the foot to the laundry hamper to the washer to the dryer and then to the actual mating process. The monster finds cracks and weaknesses in the bonding between the socks and creates wedges and openings for which it will insert itself into the pairing.
Then, without thought to the socks, it winds its slippery, cold and calculating fingers into one of the pair and tugs and pulls and manipulates till the socks are separated. From there, neither sock knows where the other is, and the king’s men have no joy in putting them back together. The socks can just blindly hope to find another sock, similar enough in pairing, to join them. But for the sock the monster tucked away into the hidden spaces in life it’s a dark life – no one can ever find the lost sock again. And, for the left behind mate, if no pair is made – it’s the garbage bin.
Damn sock monster.
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