Too Slow

The chase is what drew you in. I’m realizing that now. I got caught. My bad.

So I’m nothing to you now; now that you have your life back. And here I was feeling bad for you. You weren’t really ever feeling bad about this. You did warn me you were selfish. I was blind, as any female would be under your charm. Silly me. I left you catch me. No one catches me. I’m a cheetah, and one that’s in control of its own emotions.

I can see in how you respond to me what it is your doing. It took me a while. It took me to get back to empty to finally open my eyes. What a lovely distraction you were. My friend was right, the opposite is only a distraction. A fake way to be happy; because happiness is fleeting. You weren’t my happiness as I had hoped. You were my sadness.

I’ve decided to not play your game anymore. You’re living the white picket fence life. That’s something I’ve never had a proclivity to or wanted. I want a family, but I don’t want it to be nuclear. I want it under my terms. I just have to wait a little more. It’d be easy to love you, but it won’t be returned. I realize this now.

I am queen of the chase. I drew you in because I thought you had something for me. I trapped myself in my own snare. My bad.