Over evaluated

I could just scream. Once again, I find myself waiting on a guy. What is wrong with me? Guys need to wait on me. I shouldn't be staring at my compy wondering where he is or what he's doing; and just knowing that he's with someone else and I'm just an after thought.

Because with my messed up ego and off-kilter sense of self worth - that's all I am. An afterthought to guys. I know this deep down, and have realized that no one will ever bother to look at me twice. And because of that, I will not subject another person to my uselessness. It's a pointless exercise, just like I'm pointless.

I'm not raising kids, therefore, technically I'm not really contributing to society. One washed up, purposeless old maid is more of a detriment to society than a boon. If one doesn't reproduce, then really they aren't holding up their end of the social contract. Idiot backwoods rednecks get to pop out the babies like it's no tomorrow. I can't even attract one of these heathens.

Anyway - guys why bother waiting when the clock is ticking so loudly each movement of the minute hand is like a violent earthquake sending horrid shudders of realization that I am a waste to humanity through me. This living thing is overrated.