Trust me

Yes, I've messed up my life. I made a horribly bad choice of a husband who in turn left me sprawled in a big ol' mud pit. My bad. I've learned my lesson about trust - don't do it. I'm coming back from that. I've scraped most of the mud off me now. I'm getting clean.

But, yikeys. My 'rents don't see it that way. One big horrible decision and they think they need to make all my decisions for me. I am quite capable of making my own decisions. In fact, Im quite capable of failing epically again and again. It's good to fail, because now I know what to not do again. I need to fail. I need to not have a safety net sometimes.

I need to make even more poor uninformed choices in life. I need to not be guilt tripped into everything I do. That's not a life. That's a zombie living out another life for one's 'rents. My 'rents have fucked up their lives. I'm rescuing mine. Back off 'rents. I wish I could say that to them. But, it will never happen.

Im 34 - i shouldn't have to rebel. Im tired of rebeling. If I mess up - I'll fix it. Im fixing the disaster my ex created for me. I'm saving money. Im not buying any and everything I see. I'm not wasting my finances. There isn't anything in this world that can't be fixed or changed or handled into a new situation.

Believe in me. That's all. I can handle it now. All I need is someone to believe that Im not a total basketcase or a loophead or ragemonger. I do know what Im doing - it may not seem like it at times, but that's ok too, I need to fail so I don't do it again.