how to lose your arm hair

How to lose the hair on your arm and parts of your eyebrows:
1. Go to store and buy 80 percent lean hamburger.
2. Mash it up with garlic, pepper, curry, and rosemary spices, toss in some Worchestershire sauce for good measure.
3. Turn on gas grill
4. Place burgers on grill, along with hotdogs, space them out evenly. Close lid to grill
5. Go inside and start cooking mac and cheese. Get out Provolone to but on burgers.
6. Try to go back outside, but realize boiling noodles for mac and cheese are spilling over onto burner. Hastily clean that up.
7. See a ton of smoke coming from grill, run outside to the grill
8. Slam open the top of the grill without thinking about why there is a ton of smoke pouring from underneath the lid.
9. Scream in terror as flames shoot all around me.
10. Wonder what it’s like to die in a fireball caused by hamburger grease.
11. See flames licking at my arms – back away from the grill slapping at my arms.
12. Look back at grill and get pissed because my perfect burgers are frying to a crisp.
13. Get pissed because fire is eating my food.
14. Become big bad wolf and huff and puff at fire until it blows out
15. Move burgers to non-flamey part of grill.
16. Do NOT leave the grill until burgers are cooked.
17. Give up on mac and cheese as it burned in the pot.
18. Get the salve out because I now have no hair on my arms.
19. Eyebrows are crispy around the edges.
20. Slap on some on onions, tomato, ketchup, a bun.
21. Settle in front of the television and watch Tiger and Phil both implode.